TODAY’S BLOG — New Music Friday: “Nobody’s Love” by Maroon 5 … How long would it take you to watch everything on Netflix? … A guy tries to fake his own death to avoid jail, but misspells a word on the death certificate … Coronavirus Insanity: COVID vs. flatulence, virtual cuddle sessions, and more …
Contests on The Morning Crave…
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7:20am Numbers Game (Amigos)
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8:20am Survey Says?! (Raising Canes Box Combo Meal AND Kearney Cinema 8 Movie Pass)
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9:30am Club KQ (Kearney Cinema 8 Movie Pass)
New Music Friday: “Nobody’s Love” by Maroon 5
Listen on-air at 6:40am, 7:40am, and 8:40am!
Story Tyme on The Morning Crave…
Story 1: How Long Would It Take You to Watch Everything on Netflix?
They say you only use 10% of your brain, which seems like a huge waste. So how do you feel about the fact that you’re using even LESS of Netflix?
According to a new report, the average subscriber only consumes 2% of Netflix’s library each year.
Netflix has close to 5,500 titles, and if you wanted to watch them all, it would take FOUR years, TWO months, and EIGHT days. And that’s if you binged NONSTOP. You’d also be paying at least $660 in subscriber fees over that amount of time.
Which you spend anyway watching your measly TWO PERCENT. What’s wrong with you people? Didn’t you have grandparents who lived through the Depression and World War 2 who taught you the value of a dollar???
Do your duty: Sit down in front of that TV and start watching IMMEDIATELY! It’s the American way!!!
Story 2: A Guy Tries to Fake His Own Death to Avoid Jail, but Misspells a Word on the Death Certificate
This is why you always proofread . . .
A 25-year-old guy from Long Island was waiting to be sentenced after he was found guilty of driving a stolen Lexus, and trying to steal a truck. And to avoid jail, he decided to fake his own DEATH.
He got his fiancée to feed his lawyer a fake death certificate that said he’d killed himself. And it looked so real, the lawyer submitted it.
But there was a part at the bottom that said it was issued by New Jersey’s “Office of Vital Statistics and Registry.” And he spelled the word “registry” wrong.
He accidentally put the ‘s’ before the ‘i’. So someone realized it was fake, and cops tracked him down.
It turned out he’d fled the state, and had been arrested in Philadelphia for theft and for giving cops a fake name. So he was already in jail.
Now he’s facing those charges . . . his original charges . . . plus up to four more years in prison for the death certificate stunt. He’s due back in court next Wednesday.
Go here for more.
Go here for a photo of the fake death certificate. The misspelled word is at the bottom under “Issued By.”
Story 3: Coronavirus Insanity: COVID vs. Flatulence, Virtual Cuddle Sessions, and More
Here’s a fresh round-up of coronavirus insanity . . .
1. A photo from Niagara Falls is going viral, because it shows two tour boats. One operates out of Canada, and only a few people are on it. The other one operates on the U.S. side, and it’s totally packed.
2. A woman at a Panera Bread in California refused to wear a mask. When other customers yelled at her, she blew in a guy’s face, and claimed masks are pointless . . . because your pants don’t keep the smell in when you pass gas. (Here’s a picture that shows why she’s wrong. The molecules in your smelly gas are MUCH smaller than a single coronavirus.)
3. A maskless Burger King customer in Illinois smashed a computer monitor . . . ruined a charity display . . . and threw a tape dispenser at one of the workers.
4. There’s a big uproar in Colorado after the governor announced bars have to do last call at 10:00 PM for the next month.
5. Texas has its first drive-thru strip club. Vivid Gentleman’s Club in Houston installed a drive-thru stripper tent with food to go, and a two-song limit.
6. Professional cuddlers are offering virtual snuggle sessions.
7. A student at the University of Georgia was taking an online exam when a meatball from her meatball sub landed on her keyboard and logged her out early. She ended up with a 39% because of it, but her professor let her retake the test.
8. Museums around the world are taking part in something called the “Best Museum Bum“ challenge. They take pictures of sculptures’ butts, and post them online.
9. Will Halloween still happen? Only 27% of parents say they’re planning to take their kids trick-or-treating this year.
10. British Columbia’s Centre for Disease Control has officially recommended using “glory holes” to avoid the virus during sex. (New York City offered similar guidelines recently, but didn’t actually use the term “glory hole.”)
11. A new report from Yelp says over 26,000 restaurants in the U.S. have closed down during the outbreak. And more than 15,000 of them closed for good.
Survey Says: Win a Raising Canes Box Combo AND a Kearney Cinema 8 Movie Pass!
According to a recent survey, THIS is the top at-home task that feels like work to us.
Answer: Cleaning. | Go here for more.
The Moore Yooou Knoooow: Random Facts to Feed Your Brain!
- Philadelphia cream cheese is named after the town of Philadelphia in New York, where cream cheese was originally produced.
- Ferris wheels were originally called “pleasure wheels” when they were invented in the 1600s.
- The “ZIP” in ZIP code stands for “Zone Improvement Plan.” They were created in 1963 to help mail carriers deliver mail more efficiently . . . so they could “zip” along their routes.
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