Coronavirus Insanity: New York’s safe sex guidelines, Mountain Dew freakouts, and more … A hotel cleaner is busted for stealing 66 rolls of toilet paper from Marriott … A guy actually ate 40 pizzas in 30 days to spite Papa John …
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Coronavirus Insanity: New York’s safe sex guidelines, Mountain Dew freakouts, and more…
Here are a few more NOT-so-serious stories about the coronavirus outbreak . . .
- New York City issued coronavirus safe sex guidelines . . . which strongly encourages self-pleasuring and warns against putting your mouth in the FILTHIEST of places.
- A couple became FURIOUS at a grocery store in Kentucky when they weren’t allowed to buy 552 cans of Mountain Dew because of purchase limits.
- All of the online teaching and video conferences going on has led to a wave of embarrassing moments.
- Some people have started hosting formal dinner parties with their families . . . where everyone puts on nice clothes for their quarantined dinner.
- A woman gave birth at a Walmart in Missouri . . . and it was in the toilet paper aisle.
- The company RealDoll is now promoting that their sex dolls are, quote, “naturally antibacterial.”
- A guy in New Jersey was arrested for hosting a pop-up wedding with more than 50 people at his house.
- Assuming they haven’t sold out, there are hand sanitizers for sale that smell like Mike and Ike, Dippin’ Dots, Icees, and Smarties.
A hotel cleaner is busted for stealing 66 rolls of toilet paper from Marriott…
One day, decades from now, kids are going to learn about this pandemic in school. And some kid in every class is going to raise their hand and say, “Wait, really, toilet paper?”
There’s a 31-year-old guy named Angel Hernandezcinto in Orlando, Florida. And he works for a company called Yes Hotel Services that provides cleaning services to hotels.
Well . . . he was cleaning at a Marriott last Wednesday night. And when he left around 1:30 A.M., a security guard spotted him pushing a trash can toward his van.
The guard stopped him, and found Angel was stealing TOILET PAPER from the Marriott. He took 66 ROLLS in all.
The cops came, and Angel was arrested. He was charged with theft from a public lodging establishment, which is a FELONY . . . even though the 66 rolls of toilet paper were valued at 99 cents each, or a total of $65.34.
A guy actually ate 40 pizzas in 30 days to spite Papa John…
Remember a few months ago, when the news still had time for things like “the former founder of Papa John’s says he ate 40 pizzas in 30 days”? By the way, if you missed it, last month he admitted he didn’t ACTUALLY do it.
So a writer named Brian VanHooker from “Mel” magazine decided to ACTUALLY do it . . . mainly to spite Papa John.
And he just posted an article chronicling all 30 days . . . where he DID manage to put down 40 pizzas.
His rule was that the pizza had to be at least eight inches in diameter, but beyond that, it could be from anywhere. And he wound up making pizzas at home, eating frozen pizzas, trying every chain, and even hitting legendary spots in New York.
Brian DID struggle in the middle with some fatigue . . . but he says he never REALLY got sick of pizza.
And because he ramped up his exercising during the month because of how all the pizza was making him feel, he wound up LOSING three pounds.
According to a recent survey, 30% of people say they’ve had their day RUINED because they didn’t realize they had food stuck in their teeth. 7% of people said they were doing THIS without realizing they had food stuck in their teeth.
More results . . .
- Family photo, 7%.
- First date, 7%.
- Giving a speech, 7%.
- Job interview, 5%.
- Sex, 5%.
- A work presentation, 4%.
- Wedding photos, 4%.
The Moore Yoou Knoow!
Random facts to feed your brain…
- The largest living thing in the world is a mushroom in Oregon that’s 2.4 miles long.
- The word “matrix” comes from the Old French word “matrice,” which means WOMB . . . because it’s a place where something is embedded and developed.
- John Popper and his high school friend Chris Barron started a band called Trucking Company when they were in high school. Popper left to focus on Blues Traveler . . . so Barron added a few members and changed the name to Spin Doctors.
- Every cat’s nose print is unique, like a human fingerprint.
- The charger for a MacBook has a tiny computer inside it that regulates power flow. And it’s about as powerful as the processor in the original Mac computer.